Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 1 of 5

Originally released for PS Vita in Nippon back in 2017, Gun Gun Pixies tells the story of two intergalactic hornballs, Kame Pon and Bee Tan, otherwise known as Pixie Squad, who are sent to earth on a undercover mission to detect the interactions of a bunch of teenage girls living in a dormitory. Pixie Team's dwelling planet Pandemo is in the midst of a great existential crisis, you see; guild there has all but forgotten how to forge meaningful relationships and and then it's up to these 2 war machine schoolhouse dropouts to spend half a year observing how earth girls relate to one another and build friendships in gild to save the very future of Pandemonians.

Very generously billed as a third-person shooter, Gun Gun Pixies is, in reality, a simplistic and repetitive game aimed at people – and these people must exist because this game does – who enjoy roleplaying as tiny picayune sex pixies who sneak effectually dorm rooms on all-fours, exposing their asses and thongs at all times whilst they make heavy animate noises and shoot "happy bullets" at the corking big jiggling boobs and butts of teenage anime ladies. Ahem.

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In order to collect the information vital to the survival of their home planet, Bee Tan – who is in a constant state of intense sexual arousal – and Kame Pon – who is bored with Bee Tan'due south abiding state of sexual arousal but is also herself somewhat sexually angry – must climb effectually furniture in three unlike dorm rooms, using the scopes from their "happy guns" to search for hidden objects to further the "story" and take up sniping positions from which to burn off volleys of "happy bullets" at their target's chests and crotches.

The gameplay here breaks down into some very shoddy platforming, where a misbehaving camera and poor jumping controls combine to ensure you'll spend quite a lot of time trying to brand information technology to points of involvement around a room, and a lot of very tiresome, completely unchallenging shooting. You spend your entire time firing off endless barrages of bullets at big jiggly boobs and butts while trying to avoid big royal orbs, which emit from the target and represent her internal stresses – likewise as fighting an ground forces of tiny squids who wear condoms on their heads. Because of course they do.

One of the key elements equally you conduct your research in a girl's room is that you lot don't get defenseless because – as we're informed early on by gruff Pixie Team commander Almars – an intergalactic treaty has declared that alien races must not make themselves known to the inhabitants of planets they are visiting for fear of causing an absolute scene. Stealth is therefore thrown into the mix via a "Maiden Sensor" located at the top of your screen. The left-manus side of the sensor rises as you motility effectually within a target's cone of vision, whilst the right-paw side fills as you make too much racket. Filling either side upward completely ways yous've been detected and the mission is failed. Missions tin can also be failed by getting striking too many times by purple orbs which, patently, tear your dress off scrap by bit as they hit y'all until you are left entirely naked, which is admittedly not what people who want to play this game are interested in seeing happen. No sir. Nope.

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In order to combat existence seen you lot can pull off a number of Pixie Poses, stuff like bending over with your ass out, rubbing your boobs together and pouting or squatting like you're about to do a tiny infinite poo; the humans will so presumably assume you lot're a toy figure and leave you lot alone. Minimising sound comes down to simply itch around instead of walking, and this is a very important mechanic in Gun Gun Pixies because every bit yous crawl effectually your tiny skirt will hitch itself upwardly in such a mode that your jiggling rear-terminate and thong are constantly on show.

Besides every bit minimising sound and staying out of view of your target girl, you lot can also utilise a technique known equally "Flinching Maiden". Shooting a girl right in her big boobs or enormous barrel volition cause her to first flinching and she will temporarily be incapable of detecting you because she is and then angry; she is literally temporarily blinded by animalism because you shot her so hard with your happy bullets right in her boobs. Congratulations, we call back.

Once you've shot at a daughter enough times and gathered enough mission information by scoping around for hidden objects in bins or cupboards, you'll enter a sort of boss stage – or Pacification – where the target undresses a bit and volition outset doing yoga or perchance pole-dancing in her room, considering, as we all know, that'southward what girls do the minute you leave them on their own. Here, y'all demand to focus fire on various parts of their bodies, causing them to become intensely aroused until they experience an enormous, and very noisy endorphin explosion, which is liable to have the police knocking your door down if you've got the TV book up too loud. You'll then be rewarded with a bonus bath stage where you get to scout a daughter have a bath and can win Picoins, which are also strewn virtually all over rooms during levels, and use them to purchase upgrades or special equipment such equally x-ray vision which enables you lot to run across through people'southward vesture at all times.

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Indeed, moving into the Deck section of the game'southward menu will allow you lot to upgrade various bits and pieces of your gear. You lot can also unlock lots of unlike underwear with your Picoins and we chose to grab a chocolate lingerie prepare, which was basically simply splodges of chocolate covering delicate areas and not really something nosotros would advise anyone effort to vesture every bit actual underwear. We also purchased another prepare called "Boing, Boing Happy Underwear" which nosotros haven't got around to trying on all the same.

If all of this sounds similar exactly the kind of thing you're down for and then you should know that cutscenes tend to be laboriously long and tedious diplomacy and yous never become to leave Lilypad, the dorm you're in, with all of the action taking place in three very similar and very bland bedrooms. Traversal is, as nosotros mentioned, quite a bit of a hurting due to clunky controls and the shooting only doesn't have whatever sort of satisfying feel or challenge to information technology. In reality, once you lot've played about an hr of Gun Gun Pixies, yous've experienced all the gameplay elements it has to offering, with only the tiresome story remaining to continue y'all involved – alongside all that unlockable underwear, of course.

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The plot also tries at points to strike a strangely caring, well-meaning tone in having missions revolve around things like 1 of the girls having an eating disorder and existing entirely on diet gum. The other girls in the dorm worry for her and she eventually overcomes her eating problem through the magic of happy bullets being blasted at her breasts. Information technology's a weird thing, trying to send some sort of message well-nigh not caring virtually your trunk image to the point of making yourself ill whilst at the same fourth dimension existing solely to objectify bodies; it makes the whole thing fifty-fifty more than of a colossal blench-fest.

Determination

Gun Gun Pixies is a bad game. It'south a terrible third-person shooter, a clunky platformer and an incompetent visual novel, all wrapped up in an embarrassingly puerile endeavor at titillation. Unremarkably, this type of game can be saved somewhat by at least having some humour about itself or some level of self-awareness equally to how bonkers or puerile it'southward being, just Gun Gun Pixies can't even manage that. It's hard to believe anyone would choose to offend themselves with this kind of thing merely, if it is your bag, you should withal exist put off somewhat by the fact that everything it attempts to do, on a purely technical level, information technology does very desperately indeed.